For some single people, Valentine’s Day is a depressing time that sends them back to their loneliness. Psychologist, gives us some advice to remedy the February 14 blues.
Although it is criticized for being too commercial, too silly or too cliché, Valentine’s Day retains its importance in the calendar.
February 14 is a special time for singles: while some say they don’t care, others recognize that it is a date that brings them back to their loneliness. “It’s very common to feel sad or lonely on Valentine’s Day. This day sounds like a sort of injunction to love and romanticism,” says clinical psychologist.
It’s hard to escape. Cupids proliferate, red hearts adorn the windows, chocolates invade the shelves… “For people who are single or experiencing difficulties as a couple, everything reminds them of this situation,” notes the specialist. Here are some tips to avoid depression on Valentine’s Day.
Give love to yourself
“Love is often associated with the couple. However, it takes many different forms,” Starting with self-love. “Some single people can envy the attention that others can receive from a partner, forgetting that they can also please themselves. What if Valentine’s Day could be an opportunity to treat yourself, to treat yourself to a nice moment or a nice gift? », suggests the psychologist.
Plan an activity that makes you happy, whatever it is: a massage, a yoga class, a walk in nature. Louise, 26, likes to treat herself to little touches. “Last year I was coming out of heartbreak and needed to take care of myself on this day. I cooked my favorite meal, took a bath, and watched a movie (especially not a romantic comedy). It was a real treat! », says the young woman.
Questioning your own desire
“The injunction to the couple is very burdensome. Everything reminds us of couples, from romantic films to your banker who points out that it would be easier to borrow if you were in a relationship… This leads to the false belief that being in a relationship is the only way to be happy and that can influence the choice of certain people,” points out Psychologist.
The psychologist encourages you to refocus on your own desire: “What would really make me happy? “. Before adding: “The risk of these injunctions to happiness as a couple is also to create a bond of dependence: there is only one other who can make me happy. I always say that the couple should be the icing on the cake, not… the cake! You have the opportunity to make yourself happy before someone else contributes to it,” explains the expert.
Cut off social media to avoid comparing yourself
If you’re feeling sad, the last thing you should do is endlessly scroll through photos of happy couples on social media. You don’t have to indulge in the wave of declarations of love and #couplegoal photos on Valentine’s Day. Psychologist recommends disconnecting and keeping your distance. “It is important to keep in mind that ultimate happiness does not exist, that social networks are only a showcase exposing the best of oneself. Behind the photos of happy couples, you perhaps do not see that this happiness is sometimes tainted by difficulties,” recalls the psychologist.
Celebrate friendship on Valentine’s Day
To remedy the February 14 blues, singles have their ideas: “This year, I’m spending Valentine’s Day with my best friend. We’re going to dine at the restaurant and dress up. We’ve even planned to give ourselves a little gift for the occasion,” confides Emilie, 25 years old. “For me, Valentine’s Day is above all the celebration of love and not the celebration of lovers,” says the young woman. Like her, many people choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day with friends. This is what we call across the Atlantic “Galentine’s Day”, “an alternative to Valentine’s Day which honors sorority and friendship between women”, explains Psychologist.
Cherishing your friendships is a good way to avoid letting yourself be overwhelmed by sadness on Valentine’s Day. “It is important to symbolize certain relationships through particular actions, days or celebrations. Friendship can be celebrated on Valentine’s Day or another day of the year, it is really a way of honoring a special relationship that is close to our hearts,” underlines the psychologist.
Accept your emotions
However you prepare to avoid the Valentine’s Day blues, keep in mind that it can happen and it’s human. “We cannot always avoid depression and it is also important to welcome our emotions,” warns Psychologist. “Systematically fighting against our unpleasant thoughts or emotions is often counterproductive, it adds suffering to the pain. You have every right to be depressed and it is not because you open the door to these emotions a little that you will collapse,” reassures the psychologist.
The specialist recommends, for example, writing down your feelings. “Don’t hesitate to observe these emotions that pass through you, to name them, to describe what you feel in your body.” Finally, do not hesitate to ask for help if the anxiety of finding yourself alone on February 14 becomes too strong. “If you feel that this suffering is too difficult to live with and that it invades your daily life, then psychological support could be useful,” concludes psychologist.
